As today’s Treasure Tuesday post, let me introduce you to my “Beloved” ring. It looks like two entwined silver bands and each is engraved — one with the words “I am my beloved’s” and the other says “My beloved is mine.”
Such simple words for such a complex relationship, because let’s face it: marriage isn’t always easy. Oops, did I say something I shouldn’t have?
Let me just say here that Rick and I have a wonderful and blessed marriage. It is a covenant marriage, which means we each made a covenant — a promise — to God while speaking our wedding vows to each other. We promised to stay married for the rest of our lives and to always place God at the head of our relationship. To paraphrase something Rick wrote to me recently, thank God that He has put us together and we can relax and know that it’s forever.
Has it been easy? Well, during the first couple of years we struggled with certain issues in each of our lives. Since we were already in our 40’s when we married, we carried a lot of “previous experiences” into our relationship. How’s that for another term for “baggage”?
We’re both first-borns so we both have the tendency to want to be in charge. This used to cause many clashes and harsh words. Even though I yearned for my husband to be the head of our home, I still found myself trying to take over that role at times. We do have a fairly traditional marriage where I take care of the inside of our home while Rick maintains the outside. Go ahead, you can say it: we’re old-fashioned.
We agreed on this split while we were still engaged, and it works very well for us. Although I can change the oil and brakes on our truck, as well as rotate the tires if that was necessary, I no longer have any interest in those kinds of things — or the energy to do so. Among other things, I have also been known to install ceiling fans, repair kitchen faucets and put up sheetrock. But that doesn’t mean I still want to do these things.
I happen to be married to a guy who not only knows how to do all this stuff, he would rather spend his time on these types of tasks than cook or bake. However, he does do the vacuuming, pumice the toilets and generally pick up after himself. Neither of us likes clutter or things left out in the way.
We have learned over the years that our relationship works well because we allow each other to do what comes naturally and is best for each of us.
One of our friends shared this with us a few months ago. When he and his wife are at odds with each other, instead of glaring angrily at the other, they try to remember to look UP first — to the God who placed them together. They have found that in the process of looking up, their anger becomes diffused and they can then start talking about whatever the problem is rather than pointing accusing fingers. Rick and I like to think of it this way: our marriage relationship is a triangle with equal sides. God is sitting at the top of that triangle while Rick and I are each seated on either side at the bottom.
As for that ring? Rick gave it to me for Valentine’s Day last year and I treasure it. As sappy as it sounds, Rick is my beloved and I am his. The word “beloved” means “dearly loved” and after so many years, we have come to “dearly love” each other. We appreciate each other for who each of us is — quirks, warts and all. One of us without the other is not complete!
Oh, by the way, the message engraved on it is from chapter 6 verse 3 of Song of Solomon which says:
I am my beloved’s
and my beloved is mine…