The Marriage Triangle: Living for Jesus in Your Home #LoveWins

Please visit TRC to read more of the great articles in this issue!

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The Marriage Triangle:
Living for Jesus in Your Home

by Anna Popescu

Marriage is a very strong yet fragile bond. It is both wonderful and difficult. That makes it somewhat of a paradox. We enter into marriage with the intent of staying true to our vows, but eventually real life breaks in and sometimes we end up treating our friends better than our spouses. Or we show our better side to our friends more often than to our spouses.

Why is that?

How do we get to the point where we’re on our best behavior for everyone but the person with whom we pledged to spend the rest of our life?

Living creatively for Christ in the home is the acid test for any Christian man or woman. It is far easier to live an excellent life among your friends, when you are putting your best foot forward and are conscious of public opinion, than it is to live for Christ in your home.1

Living under the same roof with anyone is difficult, whether that means spouses, children, extended family or friends. Dwelling in close quarters with others means we see can easily each other’s faults. Disagreements over the smallest things can easily escalate into huge arguments. We often forget to take into account individual preferences for food, TV shows, internet usage and noise levels. Often there are introverts who must figure out a way to get along with extroverts. One person may prefer neatness while another is a slob.

There is no easy way to live with other people unless you do your utmost to be respectful and polite to each other at all times. How realistic is that? It takes way too much work. So it’s no wonder that we eventually shut down or explode at home when nerves are frayed or someone rubs us the wrong way. It is so much easier is it to show your best self in public. After all, you’re not with them 24/7, so you can afford to be more laid-back. At home, you’re in one another’s face and bound to get overly caught up in the hyper emotion of the moment.

If you’re part of a married couple, it gets even more complicated. Satan is in the business of trying to demolish the bond that holds husbands and wives together, and he will do everything possible to see that happen.

In the six thousand years since the Garden of Eden, two of Satan’s most strategic assaults have been focused on destroying the sanctity of the marriage covenant and the unity of our homes. A detailed study of God’s Word will show us that the devil is focused on ripping our families apart. Satan will use any tactic he can; he will capitalize on every advantage imaginable to disrupt the harmony in our homes. 2

How do we combat this? By setting Jesus as the head of our home and marriage.

If you look closely at the Marriage Triangle image, you’ll read: The closer a husband and wife get to Jesus, the closer they get to each other! How is this done?

Pray-Together

  • It is imperative that we each make time everyday in the Word, learning more about Jesus and how He wants us to live. This will bring us closer to Him.
  • Pray daily for God to order your steps (Psalm 37:23-24), showing you how to love your spouse better. As you pray, mentally put on the full armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-20) and keep Him in your mind as you go about your day.
  • Pray for your spouse, that God will fill him/her with the desire to want to know more about Him.
  • Pray with your spouse for each other.
  • Pray for yourself, that God will show you exactly how to be the spouse He wants you to be. Ask God to open your eyes to ways you can serve your spouse with much love.
  • Finally, look for ways each day to uplift and treat your spouse the way you would want them to treat you. God has specific guidelines for this (Ephesians 5:22-33).

Throughout our marriage my husband has noticed a trend in my behavior. Maybe you can relate? I smile, laugh and engage with friends and family, only to jump into the car or leave with my husband and exhale how I really feel. My face scrunches up, my attitude turns cold, I sometimes snap at my husband with stern words or slump down with defeat.

My husband kindly expressed how he felt about me giving my best to others, mentioning that he wants me to be real and honest with him, but he would also love to be around the version of me that is kind, compassionate, joyful, and all the other ways I engage with others.(emphasis mine) 3

Do you remember your courtship days? Weren’t you on your finest behavior most of the time? Didn’t you want your date to think the best of you? Why should that change just because you’re married?

Beloved, let’s try to remember to show kindness and respect to the one who God has blessed us with as a mate—no matter how busy we are. Our marriages will reap untold benefits and blessings.

Lysa TerKeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministry shared an excellent prayer for couples. This is the intro:

I would encourage you to take your spouse’s hand and either have someone read this prayer over you or read it together. Use it as a reminder and recommitment.

And if your marriage isn’t at a place where that’s possible, pray this in the quiet shrine of your heart. As our key verse, Psalm 34:15 tells us, God hears you. He knows. He loves you. He will show you the way.4

Please take the time to read the rest of this wonderful prayer here.Couples-Love-God-First

When couples love God first
they love each other better. 

–Brela Delahoussaye

Beloved, life is hard. There are too many ways our lives can get messed up and mixed up by what’s going on in the world today. Don’t dwell on the negatives. Instead, keep your eyes on Jesus and strive to put your spouse first, even though that idea goes against what we hear in the current society of “what’s in it for me?” attitudes. I have learned firsthand that not only does God bless a loving and giving attitude, but your marriage will thrive.


1 Live Creatively for Christ, by Billy Graham

2 The Reality of Spiritual Warfare in the Home

3 Do You Give Your Husband Your Best?

4 A Wedding Prayer, A Marriage Prayer

A Father’s Day Message

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Fathers, dads, papas, pops, step-dads, foster dads… today is dedicated to you.

Dads do a lot for their children, don’t they? They take them to practices, games, meetings, play dates, school, doctor appointments. They teach their kids to tie knots, catch a ball, ride a bike, dive into a pool. They love getting us to laugh by doing silly things only kids can understand. Sometimes they build forts and then play inside them with us. Other times they take us camping, help us with homework, sing with us in the car, surprise us with an  ice cream cone.

Wow, dad is one busy guy! He loves his children so much that he works hard for us and with us to make sure we have everything we need and are happy too.

What if I told you that our heavenly Father provides so much more? He loves you more than words can describe. He is referred to several times in the Bible as our Abba Father:

For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.
For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear,
but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out,
“Abba, Father.”
 
The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,

and if children, then heirs—
heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ,
if indeed we suffer with Him,
that we may also be glorified together.
—Romans 8:14-17

“The word Abba is an untranslated Aramaic word. The translators of the first English Bibles, who had great reverence for the Word of God, who believed it was indeed the Word of God, would not translate it. Abba is a very personal word that could be translated “My Daddy.” We don’t use this word in reference to God because the danger of becoming overly familiar with Him. But it expresses a heart-cry, especially in times of trouble.”¹

Beloved, God loves us so much that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:16-17). That is an immense, all-encompassing love!

Earlier this year, the Lord called my Dad home. I will always be thankful for the way he took care of Mom and us girls. He worked very hard to make sure our needs were met, as well as some “wants.” There are memories of wonderful vacations on Cape Cod and Sunday picnics at the park. Dad even took me to buy my first prom gown because Mom was too sick to go with me.

This collage shows my favorite photos of Dad. I miss that smile.

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Remember, “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God” (Romans 8:16). I know you’ll enjoy this video of Third Day singing Children of God.

If for any reason you cannot view this video, you can read the lyrics here.


¹Copyright © 1983 by J. Vernon McGee. Thru the Bible with J. Vernon McGee, Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee.

Saying Goodbye

I have written about my parents before here. Last year I shared a prayer request about my Dad here.

Earlier this week the Lord called Dad home. He had been struggling with dementia and other health problems for some time. Last fall his health began to go downhill fast.

I cannot travel by air these days because it causes severe migraines, so last year I faced a difficult decision. I wanted to see Dad again but knew what flying would do to me. Reality: should I see Dad while he was still alive or wait and go to his funeral?

I happen to have the greatest sisters in the world. I’ve written about them here before. They know what I go through each day, and all of them encouraged me to see Dad while he was still with us. So I flew to Florida in November to be with Dad and my sisters. It was the most special, yet bittersweet time, and I am ever thankful I got to see him one last time.

I can only imagine the joyful reunion Dad and Mom had in heaven and am looking forward to seeing them there someday.

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Beloved, family life is special but there are also times of anger and strife. We’re only human after all. If there is one thing I want to leave you with, it is to choose to forgive and love. Okay, that’s two things, but my point is that life is short. Don’t allow circumstances or disagreements to keep you at odds with or separated from your family.

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains,
but do not have love, I am nothing.

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body
to hardship that I may boast, 

but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

—1 Corinthians 13:1-8a

 

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Family Prayer Request

My family

I have written about my family before. You can read about us here and here. The photo above was taken back in 1995. Obviously a lot has happened since then.

Mom went home to the Lord in early 2007. It will be Dad’s turn soon. 

In a couple of days I will be traveling to Florida to gather with my sisters so we can be with Dad, who has been faced with some severe health problems over the past couple of years. It seems Dad’s time here on earth will come to an end soon, so we want to see him before the Lord takes him home. He may not even recognize us but that doesn’t matter. We haven’t all been together for several years because I don’t travel well these days, especially by airplane which makes my migraines so much worse. However, we need to be together as a family now.

Beloved, I am sharing this with all of you to ask you to pray for us as we come together with Dad. I cancelled the posts I had previously scheduled to publish during the time I’ll be gone. I want to concentrate on being with my family without having to wonder about how things are going with this blog. I’ll be back soon. My family and I thank you in advance for all your prayers.

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Personal Evangelism with Family and Friends (CMI Reblog)

First published at Cataclysm Missions International (CMI) on August 26, 2015  

By Anna Popescu

Please visit CMI to see how you can become part of a team
to share the Good News of Jesus Christ with the world!

Personal Evangelism
with Family and Friends

Evangelism means to spread the message of Jesus Christ—the Gospel, which means, Good News of Jesus Christ. Personal evangelism is sharing the Good News with friends and family.

The thought of evangelizing can make us nervous, but sharing the Gospel message with our friends and family? That causes more uneasiness.

Most of us can recall the circumstances of the day we were born again. Some of us learned about the saving grace of Jesus Christ in church. Others read about it in books, magazines or the Bible. I saw someone live out her faith so well that I wanted—no, I needed—to know where her hope and joy came from.

Many years ago I lived next door to a woman whose circumstances were not the best, but nevertheless, she radiated the joy of the Lord. We became close friends.

She often spoke to me about her faith. One day, as we sat in her living room, she shared the Gospel message with me and asked if I wanted to invite Jesus to be my Savior and Lord. Although I don’t remember her exact words or how I prayed to Jesus that day, I immediately felt an indescribable peace and joy that only comes from the Lord.

Over the years, I’ve shared the Gospel message with many people, but I have never experienced the chance to directly lead someone to Jesus Christ. This stumped me for a long time before I fully understood Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 3 (emphasis mine):

Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers through whom you believed, as the Lord gave to each one?

I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. 

So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. 

Now he who plants and he who waters are one, and each one will receive his own reward according to his own labor.

For we are God’s fellow workers; you are God’s field, you are God’s building.1

What is my point? Do not fret over when and how you can share the Gospel. Even though you may desire to walk someone through the process of asking Jesus to be their Savior and Lord, God’s plans for you might instead be to plant the seed in someone’s heart. That could be through the example of how you conduct your life or it might be through your words of encouragement to someone.

It could even be that He will use you via the internet and/or social media (Facebook friends or family, tweets, or through your blog) as a means to spread His Good News. This is how He has chosen to use me, although I didn’t see it that way for quite awhile.

God can and does use these and many other ways to fill people with a yearning to know more about Him—in other words, He provides the increase. Here is how the end of verse 7 is written in several other Bible versions:

  • but only God, who makes things grow (NIV)2
  • but God gave the growth (ESV)3
  • but God that giveth the increase (KJV)4

It may not be easy to share the message of Jesus Christ with your family and friends, but never give up.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” —Matthew 5:14-16 (NIV)1

Resources for Personal Evangelism

Sharing the Gospel online:

Sharing the Gospel in person:


1 New King James Version (NKJV). Scripture taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

2 New International Version (NIV). Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

3 American Standard Version (ASV). Public Domain

4 King James Version (KJV). Public Domain

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31 Specific Prayers for Your Children

One of my favorite sites is Greg Laurie’s Harvest.org. I receive his daily devotional emails, and although I’m a little late in sharing this because it was for Father’s Day, it is always appropriate for parents to pray for their children.
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31 Specific Prayers for Your Children

By Greg Laurie
 …..
Be on guard. Stand firm in the faith. Be courageous. Be strong.
….. 
Happy Father’s Day! For Dad (or Mom), here is a prayer list you can use to pray for your kids! 
…..
  1. Pray that your child will come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ.
  2. Pray that your child will have a healthy fear of the Lord.
  3. Pray that your child will have a heart for the lost.
  4. Pray that your child will love obedience.
  5. Pray that your child will develop godly character.
  6. Pray that your child will love and want to live God’s Word.
  7. Pray that your child will recognize God’s voice.
  8. Pray that your child will love learning.
  9. Pray that your child has an appetite for truth.
  10. Pray that your child will love the things God loves.

Read the rest here.

Used by permission from Harvest Ministries with Greg Laurie, PO Box 4000, Riverside, CA 92514.

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Adjusting to Serious Illness

This is an excellent article from CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help. It is not easy to live with chronic illness, whether you’re the patient, the caregiver, friend or family member. Included in this article are ten practical ways that patients and their families can use to make their households and relationships work better.

Adjusting to Serious Illness:
Strategies for Patients and Their Families

By Bruce Campbell

CFS and fibromyalgia force profound adjustments, both for patients and for those around them. Household tasks are juggled, finances are often strained, and all family members wonder what the future will bring. What strategies will help you and your family adjust if you are struggling with the disruptions created by CFS or FM?

Understanding Your Unique Situation

The foundation of an effective response is understanding your unique situation. Every family’s circumstances are different. Just as each patient must individualize his or her self-management strategy, families need to develop a response to CFS or FM that fits their individual circumstances.

The scope of adjustments will be dictated by the seriousness of the patient’s health problems. CFS and fibromyalgia vary greatly in severity. The average person in our self-help program reports that she functions at about 25% of normal, but there are sizeable numbers who are housebound, while others are less affected and continue to work part time or full time. The severity of medical issues will set the limits on the amount of adjustment required.

The family’s financial situation is also crucial. Some families can afford to let the ill person stop working or have her take an early retirement, while others are stretched financially and may be forced to make financial adjustments of various kinds. The presence or absence of children and, if present, their ages is significant. Couples with school-age children have to juggle work and child care. Those with adult children may get help from their kids. The health of the spouse is another important factor. In some families, both spouses are ill or a normally-healthy spouse has a health emergency like a heart attack or surgery.

A final factor is the strength of the bond between the partners. Some marriages are made stronger by illness, while others become frayed and still others break. The response of the well spouse to illness may vary from strong support, on the one hand, to disbelief, abuse and abandonment on the other. Some people in our groups, who have had multiple marriages report that they have experienced the full range of possible responses, most commonly a lack of support in an initial relationship and understanding in a later one.

Ten Strategies

Here are ten ideas for how families can adapt to CFS or FM.

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Read the rest here

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